Let There Be Light

In honor of our week without power, Bobby decided to scribe our tale - in the style of the Hebrew Scriptures. The following is a factually accurate, though stylized, version of what really happened - with input from all of us, and a lot of help from our weekly Bible Reading. We collectively present the following.

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חשמל
THE BOOK OF CHASHMAL

(Hebrew for Electricity)

This is an accounting of the peoples of our land, when they came to have a knowledge and a tendency toward darkness and a wanting of light. This is our telling of a dark time for the land separated from light. For a time, time, and a half of times darkness enveloped the likeness of our eyes. The tribes of Sexton-ma'al-shaler-hash'baaz, the tribes of Leitchozite, and the tribes of Pierc'o'sheph went about wandering in the land of darkness for a multitude of days. Their name came to be know as the great tribe of Pier'leitch'ton. And the surrounding peoples know them as Pier'leitch'ton, the people of lightlessness. It came to be a place desirous of a good thing, and of light. And the place they camped was called San'Miguel-de-Israel, which means, "Those Without Light," and to this day it is known as such.

The tribe of Pier'leitch'ton began to be a people discontent with their provisions from the land. The people began to cry out, "Why have we been an accursed people?" and went on to say "I wish we were back in the land of our forefathers, Egyptifornia." The chieftain Niko'lish proclaimed, "Cursed be the Pharaoh Aeromexico that brought us into this land of darkness!" The people began to murmur against the land, and they were a contemptible people, as they were people accustomed to light.

This is the condition of the people. Husband will leave wife, brother his sister, and friend will rise up against friend. They will eat one another up with the anger of a thousand thousand suns. No one will be safe. For these things will happen when a man has no light to guide his way.

The murmuring brought with it a plague. A plague there began, there was a plaguing and the peoples were plagued. Amongst the camped Pier'leitch'tonites there came a turmoil that was like nothing seen before, nor ever seen again. There occurred a waring within their inward parts, and they began to forget what it was like to know light. Upon the high plains, the mid-valley and the low plains, all the tribes had forgotten what their prosperous city once was.

Then the land began to stink with the fury of eight dozen she-asses and one hundred camels, for the aquifers laid dry, and the insects laid claim to their place of inhabitance. And the tabernacling people looked to their neighboring counties for sustenance, as they had lost all hope in the law of the land. The Pier'leitch'tonites turned to the older men and the secular authorities and yet no one was able to offer sanctuary. For there had been no light for many moons, and as such, there was a great drought.

They took to higher ground, and a thunderous noise was heard from the heavens. With a tremendous display of light, a trickle of water appeared for these people. As the downpour began, the counsel of the chieftain Niko'lish saw the wisdom in applying the offerings of foreign skies to the bathing of their bodies, and the sanitary disposal of their excretions.

Then there arose among their peoples a prophetess to guide them, her name was Zoe'rida from the tribe of Leitchozites. She declared, "I shall go up to the land of my forefathers and ask for guidance to our plaguing." Zoe'rida did just so. She brought with her the chieftain Niko'lish, and a young servant boy, Be'pizal, from the tribe of Pierc'o'shep (many know him as the great rounded one). They traveled great distances in search of an answer. Then the answer was revealed to Zoe'rida.

Zoe'rida, with her eyes of light, saw the cure of the tribes plague in an alien peasant boy, from the land of Caracol, and his name was Juan, from the tribe of Juanito. She asked, "Do you know why we have come here?" Juan replied, "Who are you, and where are you coming from?" She answered him, and implored, "How does one regain the light from the heavens?" Juan then looked toward the heavens and told the travelers this; "You have to take out the plastic piece from the electrical box."

The travelers began to praise him in the streets, and in the broad ways, thanking him six, yes seven, times. The scouts from a distant land hurried to tell the peoples of Pier'leitch'ton the words of Juan. The people of the land listened to the voice of Juan, and they saw that it was very good. From that day onward, the tribes were united in praise and celebration under that which comes from the lamp.